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Kerry Burki on Listening to Your Younger Self, Learning to Say No, and Shifting Your Mindset – Cracking Creativity Episode 75

Kerry Burki had an idea simmering in her head ever since high school. She wanted to make all women feel beautiful. This idea sat in her head for years before she would finally unleash it.

Kerry’s story starts like a lot of our stories. We have a kernel of an idea that sits in our heads. Sometimes we act on it, but more often than not, we let it sit. Then, something pushes us to act on it. Kerry’s push came twenty years later in the form of her time in Marie Forleo’s B School.

Kerry was working on a blog called Handmade Success, which helps people sell their work on Etsy, when her kernel of an idea crept back in her head. The only difference was, this time, instead of pushing the idea away again, Kerry decided to pull the trigger.

She asked women of all different ages and sizes to come over for a photo shoot. And with the help of a photographer friend, she began the first shoot of what became Kerry Magazine. She was finally doing her part in making all women feel beautiful. What started off as a small idea in her head has evolved into a full-blown magazine with three issues under its belt.

In this episode, Kerry talks about letting your younger self guide you, learning to say no, and shifting your mindset, among many other things.

Here are three things you can learn from Kerry:

Let Your Younger Self Guide You

We all have ambitious ideas when we’re young and naive, before life gets in the way. We believe the whole world is our stage. We believe we can do anything.

Most of the time we let those ideas go and we lose our way. Just like Kerry did. “I feel like we have things about ourselves when we’re younger that could guide us as we get older, you know, for what we want to do in the world, the changes we would see and everything, but sometimes… you can get really way off track. And that definitely happened to me.”

While most of us never act on those ideas. Some of us do. All it takes is listening to what your inner voice is telling you to do. Because if you do it right, executing your ideas can change your life. “Sometimes I think it is kinda important to get back in touch with your younger self and see if you can remember what some of those ideals were and see if some ideas pop up… because since I’ve been working on this, it’s been awesome and amazing and so fun, and it’s not even anything I was thinking about over the last twenty years and there’s some stuff that we knew when we were younger that I think we’ve forgotten.”

Learn to Say No

One of the things that plagues many people is our discomfort with saying no. When people ask us to do something, it feels uncomfortable saying no them. But that’s exactly what Kerry did.

Instead of agreeing to lead a class for kids’ yoga, she decided it was best to say no. Because once that door was open, she was afraid she would be known as someone teaches kids’ yoga. “I didn’t want that to be what I’m known for, and it’s not what I do. So it was interesting to have to come and figure out who do I want to help, what do I want to be doing, and to say no to things that don’t go with that.”

Kerry was afraid that she would fill up all her time with things she didn’t want to do. Instead, she asked herself who she wanted to help and who she wanted to align with. Doing this would help clear her path forward. “I felt like I could have filled myself up so that when something did come along, I would have been like I don’t have time for it. Right? And that would have been hard, you need to find where you need to be aligned , who you need to be aligned with… I started adding to what I say to myself in the morning… in the beginning of the day to say ‘Please allow the people who are going to light my path to easily show up in my life today.’ And when I read that, I said I need to start saying that every morning. Open myself up to allow the right people to come in that will help you see the path of you where you want to go forward.”

Shift Your Mindset

One of the keys to Kerry’s creative breakthrough was changing her mindset. Like most creatives, she used to have a mindset of fear and scarcity. After all, doing nothing is much easier than doing something. But once she re-framed her mindset, things started to work in her favor.

“I feel like there’s a lot I’ve learned. That you have to come from a place of being open to receive instead of fear of that scarcity. Like I’m not going to be able to figure it out or people aren’t going to want to do it. That’s just an easier place, your thoughts just go there easier, and again I just started coming up with re-framing those types of thoughts and repeating it… a lot and saying ‘It’s all going to work out. It’s all going to come together.’ And… when I do that regularly, it works.”

The biggest mindset shift comes from looking at things in a positive light. When you expect good things to happen, they really do start to happen. “Really, if you can switch to being open and expecting to receive good to come your way… it’s almost like a light switch. It can really start to shift things.”

Shownotes

  • about Kerry
    • B School with Marie Forleo
    • had a blog called Handmade Success and was looking to expand it
      • wished there was a magazine that showed every woman was beautiful
      • working online with creatives on building websites and writing blog posts
      • asked herself, “Why not me?”
      • asked people to help her out with the magazine
      • also relied on social accountability
  • early influences
    • had a collage of super models on her wall
      • never thought she would be that type of person
      • noticing her appearance and what was considered “pretty”
  • why vs. why not
    • question of doubt vs. question of action
    • shifting your point of view
    • being in the comparison trap and shifting your way of thinking

11:38 “By then, I was already both feet in when I started looking at layouts and formats and stuff, when I coulda maybe get caught in a comparison trap and everything I looked at wasn’t what I was doing. So it was all kinda helpful. You know how you can look at other people’s creative projects to learn formats and stuff but while you’re doing your own thing. It definitely… shifted my way of thinking. I’m going to have to remember to say that to other people too. Why not you?”

  • shifting from Handmade Success
    • considered doing full shift, even wrote whole post about it
    • someone else started it for Etsy, then it grew
    • met someone who wanted to help Etsy creators and wanted to team up

13:40 “With what I’ve learned, creating the magazine and the role of being creative, of an artist putting something out in the world, that could kinda help me think that then I could easily be offering advice again for creatives, and then also drawing what I know from other backgrounds to help them even more.”

  • first issue of the magazine
    • someone from high school told her she remembered telling her the idea
    • being scared of shifts and taking steps

15:20 “I feel like we have things about ourselves when we’re younger that could guide us as we get older, you know, for what we want to do in the world, the changes we would see and everything, but sometimes… you can get really way off track. And that definitely happened to me.”

15:55 “Sometimes I think it is kinda important to get back in touch with your younger self and see if you can remember what some of those ideals were and see if some ideas pop up… because since I’ve been working on this, it’s been awesome and amazing and so fun, and it’s not even anything I was thinking about over the last twenty years and there’s some stuff that we knew when we were younger that I think we’ve forgotten.”

  • creating the first issue
    • she jumps in and figures things out later
    • started with photoshoot of women of different ages/sizes
      • asked people on Facebook if they wanted to participate
      • photographer friend volunteered her time for shoot
      • had the shoot at her house
      • didn’t know what she was doing
      • women filled out cards “I feel beautiful when____”
      • women were chatting and having a good time
      • people were sharing their photos on Facebook
    • decided to create the magazine then
    • Pixelmator – photo editing for Macs
    • Canva – offers magazine layouts
    • offered ad space for giveaways
    • people offered to do things like book reviews, jewelry, recipes, etc.
    • had some experience through Handmade Success, but used mostly trial and error
  • lack of experience as a helpful tool

23:19 “Just having the idea saying I want to create a magazine to show all that is beautiful, and I’m going to do it, was the attitude needed…. If I had started thinking about how I would do all of that, and then even kinda getting it out into the world… you’re right, that’s what stops other people. That word can’t comes into a lot of people’s heads. ‘I can’t do that,’ or ‘I couldn’t do it on my own.’ And I will say, I don’t feel like I did it on my own… I’ll say there’s other projects that  I feel like I probably held back on because I had thought too much… There’s a certain beauty in not thinking.”

  • confidence to ask people to support the magazine
    • energy behind the photo shoot
    • something joyful/beautiful coming out of something with no money involved
    • people wanting to be a part of the magazine
    • people who find it believe it is unique
    • being okay with who you are regardless of success/failure

26:41 “When you have an idea and you kind of start to notice an energy around it, that can really just help you take those risks like asking other people to be involved… I mean that why sometimes… you put something out there to see how people react a little bit and decide whether or not you’re going to get the support you need going forward.”

  • featured photos
    • first issue: age/where they’re from/about their lives/non-profits they like
    • second issue: write letter to younger selves along with photo of younger selves, accompanied by current photo
    • third issue: moms of children with special needs
      • makeup artist from Sparkle Bar and photographer both volunteered time
      • resources that are helpful for these moms
  • promoting the magazine
    • first two magazines are on Issu
    • also featured her magazines through Facebook ads
    • has been read in ten countries
    • looking to get magazines printed
  • Facebook ads
    • tried 30 and older, and under 30, didn’t notice a difference
    • targeting pages people like, finding similar magazines or positive image sites
    • getting more targeted with her ads
  • biggest supporters of her project
    • people told her it was a positive magazine for young women
    • women in fifties felt she was tapping into something
      • thought they weren’t pretty/beautiful when they were younger, but realized they were later
      • women who gave up on feeling beautiful
  • surprising stories
    • woman sharing letter to herself
      • led to her making the feature
    • third photoshoot – was in the first two issues
      • came because she was inspired by the first two shoots
      • wanted to be around the positivity
    • people told her the magazine made them feel good

37:18 “I’m learning that how you feel is really kind of a big part of the life you create. You kinda act one way but if you’re feeling another, then you’re probably going to be unhappy.”

  • bringing those feelings into our daily lives
    • she avoided feeling certain things to avoid feeling emotional
    • you store your feelings if you don’t express them
    • You Can Heal Your Life by Louise L. Hay
      • how you talk to yourself
      • you don’t like thoughts you have about yourself
      • changing thoughts
      • positive affirmations and why not me
    • taking time for herself throughout the day
    • detaching yourself from negative thoughts
  • meditation practice
    • grounding visualization
    • start at the crown of your head and work downwards
    • listening to breath and using positive affirmations
    • taking five deep breaths throughout the day during transition periods
    • creating reminders on her phone to remember to practice self-affirmations/breathing
    • “You should sit in meditation for twenty minutes every day — unless you’re too busy. Then you should sit for an hour.” – Zen proverb

43:58 “I noticed that when I do what I think is easier, I end up unhappy. I kinda get caught in that comparing thing that people are better than me, thinking I’m not doing enough, but when I do what I find to be challenging a little bit, at the moment, then I don’t get caught up in all the comparison. I end up making better choices and end up having better feelings about things.”

  • what to say yes to
    • said yes to things related to kids yoga
    • if you keep saying yes to something, people will associate that thing with you
    • creating space for opportunities to happen

48:55 “I didn’t want that to be what I’m known for, and it’s not what I do. So it was interesting to have to come and figure out who do I want to help, what do I want to be doing, and to say no to things that don’t go with that.”

50:23 “I felt like I could have filled myself up so that when something did come along, I would have been like I don’t have time for it. Right? And that would have been hard, you need to find where you need to be aligned , who you need to be aligned with… I started adding to what I say to myself in the morning… in the beginning of the day to say ‘Please allow the people who are going to light my path to easily show up in my life today.’ And when I read that, I said I need to start saying that every morning. Open myself up to allow the right people to come in that will help you see the path of you where you want to go forward.”

  • people who helped her with the magazine & how they helped
    • friends volunteered to proof read the magazines
    • the difficulty of proofreading your own work
    • gave credit to all those who helped her from people who submitted work to those who helped edit it
  • aligning people to your mission not making money
    • found advertisers who aligned with her vision
    • free issues online and pay for physical copies
    • coming from a place of passion
    • first issue made no money, second made money which she used to promote
    • Southwest Institute of Healing Arts – works as blogger/life coach
    • manifesting her ideal job
    • connections among moms and groups of people to help promote the mag.

58:00 “I feel like there’s a lot to be said to opening yourself up to drawing in what will serve your highest good… and because of that, that allowed me to not come from a point of money because… any time I start thinking about that, it starts to stress me out. “

  • biggest lessons between issues
    • initially intended for it to be seasonal
    • husband convinced her she didn’t need to put so much stress on herself
    • felt pressure for creating more issues and coming up with content
    • getting out of the space of fear
    • people contacted her about being featured in issues
    • having too much content
    • fixing your mindset

1:02:19 “I feel like there’s a lot I’ve learned. That you have to come from a place of being open to receive instead of fear of that scarcity. Like I’m not going to be able to figure it out or people aren’t going to want to do it. That’s just an easier place, your thoughts just go there easier, and again I just started coming up with re-framing those types of thoughts and repeating it… a lot and saying ‘It’s all going to work out. It’s all going to come together.’ And… when I do that regularly, it works.”

1:03:26 “Really, if you can switch to being open and expecting to receive good to come your way… it’s almost like a light switch. It can really start to shift things.”

  • how the magazine will evolve
    • before the magazine, she had the slogan to slow down to move forward
    • but  she found she likes bold action
    • new issue is about slowing down and following intuition

1:05:00 “When I just go go go, things they’re not of good quality, I say yes to too many things, I don’t think good thoughts of myself, but when I slow down and take time for myself and take time to discover nice things to say to myself, and take time to… say ‘I’m open to good things flowing into my life.’ That is then a huge thing and I’m realizing that’s just overall. When I speed through, I’m not as happy and when I slow down, then I am.”

  • advice for people who want to start their own creative projects
    • Facebook group talking about self-doubt being bad for creativity
      • asked group to share their self-doubts
    • Cheryl Sosnowski said to take action on projects you feel doubt about

1:09:37 “My advice is to find nice things to say to yourself about the project or about what you can do, about your abilities, about anything,  to start saying to yourself when that doubt comes in and when you have this idea you’re kinda unsure about.”

  • favorite quote
    • “Be the change that you wish to see in the world.” – Mahatma Gandhi quote
    • was concerned with the way people saw her
    • over the last year, she shifted how she talked to herself
    • became more confident and inspired others
  • morning routine
    • meditation with a timer
  • recommendations
  • creative people
  • definition of creativity
    • larger than artistic endeavors
    • everybody is creating but not everybody knows that they are
    • start small and start noticing what you’re doing

1:15:36 “It’s really about how you can… create your life and how you can create your thoughts and how those thoughts help you create your life and how every day everyone is creating their future. And creativity is something… if we all pay closer attention, you can really make sure that your actions and your thoughts are starting to create a life that you really want to live.”

  • challenge
    • create your own positive affirmation about yourself and repeat it often and write it down
      • take a big negative thought about yourself and switch it to a positive one
      • think about how it will feel and tap into that feeling
      • act like it is already true
    • if you were the best in the world at something, what would you do? – via Marie Forleo
      • creates a ripple effect

kerryburki.com

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