Kim Nicol teaches meditations and mindfulness and has helped thousands of people find calm in everyday moments. In this episode Kim talks about how she went from marketing, to being a lawyer, to becoming a mindfulness and meditations teacher. She also talks about how to relate to others and the many different ways she helps bring mindfulness into people’s everyday lives.

Here are three things you can learn from Kim:

Your journey doesn’t need to be linear

Many people settle for their lot in life. They went to college, got a job, and are stuck there. At least that’s the thought. It doesn’t have to be this way.

Many people think of life as a singular path, but it’s much more complicated than that. Kim’s path took her from marketing and branding, to being a lawyer, and finally to her calling as a mindfulness and meditation teacher.

If you feel like you can’t do anything about your job, think again. Look at Kim as an example, and remember, many other people are finding their way too.

How high powered people can overcome stress

People in positions of power often get stressed because they can’t control everything. They lived most of their lives getting what they wanted, but when things don’t go exactly as planned, they stress out over it.

The best way to overcome this stress is to shift your perspective. It doesn’t do any good to get angry over something you can’t control.

Instead take a breath and decide from a place of calmness. Explore your options and shift your relationships, choices, and momentum so you aren’t burning energy.

Advice on getting started with meditation

When people here meditation, they often think of monks sitting on the floor chanting to themselves. This often turns people away because they are daunted by how intense it can be.

The good news is, meditation comes in many forms. It doesn’t need to be that intense or intimidating.

If you want to get started with a mindfulness or meditation practice, Kim advocates starting small. People often give up because they start off trying to meditate for 20 minutes. Instead, start with a 3 minute meditation and increase the amount of time as you become more comfortable with it.

Kim also advocates approaching your practice with a sense of curiosity and adventure. Don’t worry about getting it right. See how you can make it fun.

Shownotes

• 2:37 Kim’s background
  • Offering – Kim’s book on mindfulness in everyday life
  • helps people learn how to meet life and challenge with a mindful approach
  • works with people one on one and in corporate settings
  • also runs retreats – helps people live in a genuine and authentic place
• 4:13 how she got into mindfulness
  •  started in college, was an rower
    • do one task with incredible timing and accuracy
    • you can’t be distracted or worried
    • one of the first places where she realized her mind/heart could align with her physical body
    • you can’t be distracted and still perform well
    • led to yoga and other mind/body practices
  • after going to law school/being in publishing company, friend introduced her to meditation teacher
    • she was reluctant to go, but her friend convinced her
    • sat in chairs, and had conversations on the mind and opinions of the world
    • talked about nature and reality
    • did guided meditation practice with eyes closed
    • found herself more excited with life
  • challenging events caused her to change outlook on life
    • aunt diagnosed with cancer, co-worker in accident, break-up with boyfriend
  • was very conservative with life and wasn’t in love with career and felt life was too important and temporary
  • change didn’t happen over night, happened over years and took planning
  • [bctt tweet=”What would happen if I took a leap and decided to try something new?”]

“I feel like my life is too important to me and too temporary… I want to give myself the chance to find out what would happen if I took a leap and decided to try something new.”

• 9:52 why she chose to be a lawyer
  • before being a lawyer, she was working in marketing/brand development
  • worked with beer company and there were different laws in each state
    • had to work with legal
    • marketing can create many different ideas, but they have to go to legal
    • you need to talk about responsibilities and be very clear about what you are doing
    • element of clarity spoke to her
  •  thought it would be a great way to develop her career
  • law is involved in everything around us and in human interactions
  • was a path for growth and the stories/conflicts of humanity
• 13:02 how marketing/branding and being a lawyer helped her mindfulness practice
  • lawyer
    • lawyers are incredibly hard on themselves and very few people have compassion for them
    • learned that lawyers have higher rate of divorce, depression, suicide, and substance abuse
    • gave her the ability to see beyond the surface
    • discovered compassion in everyone
    • “You never know what’s going on inside somebody”
  • marketing/branding
    • understanding the story you want to share and how you do it

“I think in any situation or circumstance where you have a message, you really have to think about, what is the story and how do I want to share it.”

“For me, bringing meditation and mindfulness into places where it might be quite new, it’s important for me to be able to present the story and the message in a way that will be accessible and in a way that will make sense.”

• 17:00 storytelling for different audiences (lawyers, startups, businesses, etc.)
  • the difference lies in the details
  • not being in control
  • lawyers
    • don’t have control of facts, council, clients
    • dealing with pressure
  • draw from examples that are relevant and relatable
  • startups
    • markets, user acquistion, bugs
    • make decisions fast with limited info/resources
  • big organizations
    • economy, management, upper management, other departments
  • you have to be able to identify core elements
  • find examples of how things are out of their control

“Meditation and mindfulness can become really useful tools for dealing with situations when you feel like things are outside of your control and that is creating incredible stress and anxiety for you.”

“Connect a core concept through a story that they will recognize.”

• 20:02 teaching high powered people to let go
  • doesn’t tell people to let go, they are controlling by nature
  • it’s more about perspective
  • what is your perspective and can you shift your relationship?
  • being in an angry frenzy vs. taking a breath and deciding from a calm place
  • what are my options and what are the best choices to make?
  • how do you move forward?
  • shift your relationships, choices, momentum so you’re not burning energy
• 23:22 discovering how to make this mind shift
  • only teaches from personal experience and understanding
  • the most difficult part of mindfulness/meditation is how to make it personal and relatable
• 24:50 transitioning from being a lawyer to a mindfulness coach
  • before becoming a coach, she taught group fitness classes
  • was living multiple lives simultaneously
    • corporate day job , fitness, blogs/writing, massage
  • had money saved when she left corporate job and income from other classes she was teaching
  • had to improvise
  • you get to learn and see from what other people are doing
  • you figure it out as you go

“What is the thing  that I can do now to move this thing forward? That’s where it’s a lot of experimentation, a lot of testing things out, it’s a lot of getting feedback and reiterating. Okay, this worked. This didn’t. Now how do I amplify the things that are going well and how do I adjust for the things that didn’t go the way that I expected?”

• 27:43  planning she did to leave her corporate job
  • had a roommate so she knew she wouldn’t need to shoulder rent by herself and had money saved up
  • plan to sign up for yoga teacher training which would give her community and support
  • spent a month away on an adventure – helped her tap into energy and meet new people
  • traveling helps you meet new people that give you a new perspective
  • she met people who were living life in a different way than how she was living life
  • you need to include new kinds of humans in your community

 “When you’re really wanting to shift something in your life, whether it’s your career… or something that you’re creating… it’s really helpful to have people around you who will help you to shift your mind state, to shift your mindset, to give you new ideas and a vision of new possibilities.”

• 31:04 most memorable experience/person she met on her trip
  •  was in Bali on a yoga retreat for 10 days, and the rest of the month just being there
  • John Hardy – came to Bali in 70’s
    • built line of jewelry
    • moved and raised family there
    • had a facility that she got to visit
    • enjoyed seeing someone who made the most out his trip and what came out of it
• 33:35 approaching and meeting new people
  • found she is more courageous in meeting new people when she travels
  • also finds meeting people easy in classes because you already have something in common with them
  • set up makes it easier to meet people
  • meetups are also a great way to meet people
  • instead of engaging in small talk, engage your curiosity
  • some questions you can ask:
    • What brought you here?
    • What are you working on that you’re excited about?
    • What has your attention these days?

“The thing that helped me… is to engage your curiosity. Curiosity will really be your ally when you are in any kind of social situation and you start to feel a little nervous.”

“Inviting a genuine curiosity and asking a question can be really a lovely and gentle way to invite someone into a conversation.”

• 37:16 differences in the ways that she teaches
  • how she interacts with people changes based on context and conditions on how they are meeting
  • group teaching vs. one on one conversations
  • context and circumstances change the way we relate
• 40:00 coming up with Mastermind Island Retreat
  • 16 people who have hustle and heart
  • people who have tasted success/failure, are open to sharing, and want to learn from others
  • discovered resort in Bahamas while on yoga retreat
  • part of community where live and in person meetups were getting bigger and bigger
    • wasn’t enough time to engage and not enough energy to connect
    • too many amazing people and not enough time
  • thought it would be a good idea to have meetup on the island for a few days to connect with each other
  • initially put it out the idea not knowing what to expect and forgot about it
    • Christina Salerno reached out a month after and wanted to know status of the island idea
    • that pushed her to actually look into it
  • experiment for getting to work and share with others in unique way
  • serves as organizer and facilitator
  • she sets the tone so people feel safe and structures event so the flow of each day allows them to connect and get the most out of their time
• 46:29 Kim’s book Offering: The Gentle Power of Mindfulness to Awaken the Love, Calm, and Wonder in Everyday Life
  • offering and invitation for reader to recognize the love, calm, and wonder of life
  • neglected onion on kitchen counter
    • sitting in bowl in stillness, but it wants to grow
    • if that’s true for an onion, what can be true for us?
    • what could happen if we gave ourselves more stillness, time, and air?

“The life you’re living right now is filled with these beautiful, magical, wonderous moments. And depending on the reader, different particular passages will really click and resonate with them and help them see their own world in that way.”

• 48:36 people being hesitant to try out mindfulness practices
  • has found that people are very curious creatures
  • early adopters in tech space are drawn to mindfulness practices
  • try it, feel it out for yourself, and if you like it, continue to do it
  • mindfulness in the mainstream – athletes, business people, and companies
  • some people use apps to get started
  • less people are skeptical
• 51:30 how she works with people/groups
  • depends on what people want
  • often times people are curious and want to test it out
  • tries to be as helpful as possible, in as many formats as possible
•  52:30 perceptions of meditation and how hers differs
  • many people have traditional idea of monks in robes sitting down
  • teaches in corporate environment on chairs
  • does 5 minute sessions
  • goal is to show how a 5 minute meditation is better than 0 minute meditation
  • living in San Francisco allows her to point to different resources

“I like empowering and enabling people to explore their world and discover what is it for them that lights them up and turns them on.”

• 55:48 story that surprised her from the results
  • lawyer stressed by job change
  • worked with him to deal with the stress
  • set him up for 5 minute meditations
  • at the end of the month she talked to him
    • going to grocery store used to stress him out, now it doesn’t bother him
    • wife said “I don’t know what you’re doing, but I like it.”
  • was more calm and wasn’t as stressed
  • marriage became better, he was more available to connect with her
• 59:27 advice for someone that is curious about meditation/mindfulness
  • start small (3 min)
  • Kim’s free guided meditations on Soundcloud
  • let it be an adventure, don’t worry about getting it right
  • be curious and approach it like and adventure
• 1:00:33 morning routine
  • walk at a park nearby or to cafe
  • 5 minute meditation
  • writing
• 1:01:12 books, podcast recommendations
  • The Art of Possibility by Rosamund Stone Zander & Benjamin Zander
  • When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times by Pema Chodron
• 1:02:00 someone who is extremely creative
  • Amanda Palmer – book – The Art of Asking
  • book is based on her TED Talk 
  • lived in Boston at the same time Amanda was doing 8 ft bride statue
• 1:03:22 definition of creativity

“People need to allow creativity. This is my belief that each of us as a human, we have the impulse inside, it’s like a seed and it wants to grow, and we don’t know what kind of seed it’s going to grow into, but it wants to grow and move through us, and so it’s going to do that in a lot of ways.”

“There are so many ways of expressing that creative impulse and I think our biggest trouble is that we get in our own way and we start judging ourselves… there are so many ways that we start choking ourselves off… my biggest advice is just allow that impulse and give it some space, give it some breathing room, and let it move through you, and however it’s calling you to move.”

Book on Amazon | Facebook | Kim Nicol