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Dr. Matt Westheimer on Mentorships, Relationships, and the Importance of a Process Based Mindset – Cracking Creativity Episode 46

Dr. Matt Westheimer is a chiropractor and the founder of Elite Blueprint.  In this episode Matt talks about his journey of selling everything he had to build a chiropractic practice in Singapore, the role mentors have played in his life, why you need support from the people around you, and the reason the process is more important than the result.

Here are three things you can learn from Matt:

The Power of Mentorship

One constant throughout Matt’s life has been the influence of mentors on his life. Early on, Matt made the mistake of only focusing on one aspect of what he considered success.

When Matt read an article about Michael Phelps, he brought it to one of his mentors and said Phelps was the type of person that inspired him. The mentor showed Matt that Phelps had success in one area of life, but was he excelling in other areas of life like relationships, friendships, and personal growth. From that moment on, Matt decided he didn’t just want success in one area of life, he wanted it in all areas of life.

On another occasion, Matt had been struggling for months trying to decide whether he should make the move to Singapore. The mentor asked one simple question that changed Matt’s perspective. “In fifteen years, what are you going to regret more? Are you going to regret not staying here and opening up practice… or are you going to regret not taking the time to travel around the world?” This was the catalyst that gave Matt the confidence to move overseas.

These moments were pivotal in Matt’s growth. Without the help of mentors, Matt’s life might be completely different. If you find yourself struggling, seek out guidance from a mentor. Their wisdom can have a profound affect on your life.

Surround Yourself with People Who Will Support You

In one of the most vulnerable moments of his life, Matt found confidence, strength, and the courage to move on and achieve more. How did he do it? With the help of the people around him.

When his long term relationship ended, Matt felt stuck. He was a pivotal moment in his life where he could either grow or continue to live life in the middle.

It was during that moment that Matt turned to his friends. Even though his relationship didn’t work out, he was able to build life long friendships because of it.

“I would say one of the biggest things that you can do is surround yourself with people that are going to inspire you, that are going to challenge you, that are going to support you. People that are going to build you up. People that aren’t just playing it safe, that are going to call you out.”

When you have a strong group of people on your side, you can overcome just about anything. Don’t try to do everything on your own because the support these people provide is invaluable.

The Process is More Important than the Result

One of the big changes Matt made in his life was going from a results based mindset to a process based mindset. He used to write down all the things that he wanted out of life from workout goals to monetary goals.

Eventually, he realized when you have result based goals, and you don’t achieve them, you feel down about yourself. When you have a process based goal, you get to enjoy the journey instead of focusing on the destination. Instead of worrying about whether you can achieve your goals, you get to enjoy the process along the way.

Here’s what Matt has to say about his every day process, “I focus all of my energy on where if I do these things every single day, it’s going to be impossible for me not to have the result that I would love to have… a lot of people get too focused on the result and less focused on the process, which I think is much more important.”
The next time you find yourself down about not achieving your goals, re-frame your mindset to focus on the process instead.


  • about Matt
    • path goes back to chiropractic school
      • pivotal moment, studying with best friend
      • lived small up until that point
      • friend was reading a book about Iceland
      • called dad to book flight to Iceland b/c he didn’t have enough money to do it
      • went through rough time in life after break up
      • decided to do something completely different and practice overseas
      • followed his friend backpacking as well
      • ended up back in South Florida and had to make a decision of what to do
    • talk with mentor
      • was struggling for months
      • had to decide whether to stay in US or go overseas and practice
      • mentor asked, “In fifteen years, what are you going to regret more? Are you going to regret not staying here and opening up practice… or are you going to regret not taking the time to travel around the world?”
      • that’s when Matt decided to move to Singapore to practice
  • how a single moment can completely change your life
    • if he stayed in South Florida, he would have done what he had always done
    • doesn’t think he would have been as fulfilled
    • you can look back and see how moments have led you to way where you are but you can’t know what your alternative experience would have been like

“I’ve always tried to live my life as much as possible by taking chances and confronting my fears and going after things that I really want, and I can’t say that it’s worked out 100% of the time or I’ve chosen that 100% of the time, but I’ve tried to do that as much as possible, and even if it’s challenging at the time, I’ve never looked back at one of those experiences and regretted what I’ve learned from that process.”

  • making assumptions about people’s paths to success
    • looking at the social media accounts of other people and only seeing the best versions of someone’s life
    • has always struggled with comparing himself to others
    • beats himself up, but it also motivates him
    • compare yourself to where you were in the past
    • Tai Lopez – living your life by the law of thirds
      • 1/3 of people better than you, 1/3 equal to you, 1/3 below you

“We tend to compare the bad stuff in our life to all the best stuff of everybody else’s life, and we just have to be careful about that, that we’re not living our life through somebody else’s life, as opposed to living it for ourselves.”

“We need to compare ourselves. Are we better today than we were yesterday? But I think for a lot of us, it’s a lot harder said than done.”

  • difficulties of moving to Asia
    • first idea for moving to Asia came while interning in China
    • made bad investment with student loan money
    • lost all of his money, and was $160k in debt
    • had no idea what he was going to do
    • exciting, yet scary time
    • that’s when he went back to practice in South Florida
    • contacted chiropractors to see how he could get back on his feet
    • in China he wrote all the goals for the practice he wanted, the people he wanted to impact, and everything about who he wanted to be
    • didn’t think he would be able to achieve many of those goals
    • looked back on the list a few years later, and saw that he achieved many of his goals
    • wanted a fresh start in Singapore
    • given the option to take job in the city (in comfort) or take job in suburbia (fresh start)
    • friend convinced him that the smaller office would be the better risk
    • the up and down moments of getting the smaller office
    • selling all his stuff and moving to Singapore
  • choosing the uncomfortable route
    • going through challenges vs. taking the easy way
    • is grateful for all the challenging experiences
    • thinks of conversation with old boss almost every day

“Those times of greatest challenge that I’ve also grown the most.”

“A lot of the times when we’re in fear mode, we tend to make decisions based on that fear, but when we cant take ourselves out of that, and project ourselves… ten, fifteen years into the future… we tend to make much different choices then if we make it in fear mode where we are at the moment.”

  • power of mentorship
    • made the mistake early in life of comparing himself to one area of that mentor’s life
    • ten years ago, read an article about Michael Phelps and his greatness
      • brought article to his coach and told him, this is what inspires me
      • mentor brought up the other side of his life: relationships, personal life, friendships, personal growth, etc.
      • she asked if he wanted to be excellent in just one area of life or all areas of life
    • another mentor taught him to have an intellectual board of trustees
      • having mentors in different areas and modeling area after that person
      • creates fulfillment in all areas of life
      • artists pulling stuff from a bunch of different sources

“I wouldn’t be anywhere near where I am without the mentors in my life. I definitely have not done it alone. It’s been a partnership between the people that I’ve had the great fortune of surrounding myself with.”

  • recommendations for seeking mentor
    • look for people who are living the life you would like to live
    • mentors who have reached the pinnacle will be unreachable
    • find people who are ahead of where you are who have recently been in your shoes
    • as you grow, you continue to gain new mentors
    • mentors aren’t just people you have conversations with, they also exist in books
    • best conversations happen within books
    • learning through reading and the life experiences others have gone through
    • climbing the ladder instead of using an elevator to success
    • biographies as a great way to learn
    • life is hard enough without
    • The Road Less Traveled – first line is “Life is difficult”

“To me that’s a great way to find mentorship and find guidance is through reading books that have been written by people who’s lived lives you really admire.”

“Smart people will learn from their mistakes, but brilliant people will learn from other people’s mistakes.”

“The reality is, life is difficult, but I think it’s important for us to realize, let’s not make it more difficult than it has to, because it’s going to be difficult anyway. Let’s learn as much as we can from other people, and then deal with the challenges as they come up.”

  • people who grow from difficult circumstances vs. those who don’t
    • 1.) the people you surround yourself with is really important
      • The Ultimate Achievement Formula
      • even though his relationship didn’t work out, he built other life long friendships
      • gave him confidence, strength, and courage to move on and achieve
    • 2.) making a choice and being honest and vulnerable
      • many people won’t admit when they are depressed or upset
      • instead of living highs and lows, they live in the middle
      • sometimes it takes going through lows to propel our lives forward

“I would say one of the biggest things that you can do is surround yourself with people that are going to inspire you, that are going to challenge you, that are going to support you. People that are going to build you up. People that aren’t just playing it safe, that are going to call you out.”

“I think that sometimes we need to go through and become really vulnerable and go through the challenges to then realize that we want this more, and we realize that we’re more than what we’re doing, and we realize that we’re capable of so much more, and then that makes us come out of that choice, that decision, to then grow our lives to a new level.”

  • goals that he set in his notebook
    • categories of goals: personal, business, financial, adventure
    • dad’s influence being a chiropractor
      • taking care of patients and having fun going to work
    • loves people and making a difference in people’s lives
    • wants his office to be full and helpful
    • set goals on number of people/impact he makes
    • it wasn’t just numbers goals, it was also the feeling and how he wanted to help people
    • also had goals for watches/vacations
    • goal for rock climbing in Thailand – achieved it 3 years later
    • power of intentional goals
    • you don’t need to know how you will achieve goal
    • bringing consciousness to your goals
  • growing his office and building a great environment
    • was terrified coming over to Singapore
    • thought he had to become successful and have the biggest/best practice
    • was looking at failure as a negative thing
    • speech at professional gathering
      • scared because he knew they were all looking at what he was doing
      • another successful chiropractor mentioned him in speech and said: “It doesn’t matter if you fail… just the fact that you’re taking that step and you’re taking that risk, and you’re venturing out into the unknown is something I could not be more proud of you for.”
      • that moment, he gave himself permission to fail
      • realized everything did not have to turn out perfectly
      • allowed him to set big goals and to create the life that he wanted
  • Elite Blueprint
    • was never a good writer
    • created a blog to get better at writing
    • friend told him his writing is good but his platform wasn’t
    • decided to create a platform to help others the way his mentors helped him
    • doesn’t like not being good at things
    • focuses on strengths and avoid weaknesses
    • two things he views as weaknesses: tech and putting himself out for criticism
    • creating a website was way to deal with both of those weaknesses

“You can’t create a website and share your life without really becoming vulnerable and having that idea that people are going to criticize you. Some people are going to love it. Some people are going to hate it… and you just have to be okay with that. And it was also going to be a way for me to learn and grow and not be as scared of technology.”

  • things that he wants to talk about on platform
    • Ultimate Achievement Formula
      • certain steps that are applicable to every phase of life
        • beliefs – determines what you do
        • purpose – keeps you on the path
        • blueprint – goals for your life
        • standards – the only way to grow is to raise your standards
        • accountability – surround yourself with the right people
      • applies to every area of life
      • blueprint – people are afraid to set goals
        • wanted to show people how to brainstorm goals, extract them, and set strategies for them
        • wanted to eliminate fear of setting goals

“Everybody knows that setting goals is important and that you’re going to become more successful in every area of your life if you set goals, but so very few people do that, and I think it’s a lot of that fear of the unknown or how to go about doing it. So I wanted to eliminate that for people.”

  • steps in Elite Blueprint
    • asked mentor how was he able to create a life where he doesn’t care what people think
      • he said, “The moment that your life is going to turn around is when you stop living your life for other people and start living your life for yourself.”
    • Blueprint is not for building your life like someone else, it’s building a life based on your values and what’s important to you
    • 6 P’s – personal goals, people goals, professional goals, prosperity goals, play goals, philanthropic goals
      • look into each area and break it down
      • personal – health, intellectual, spiritual, and emotional goals
      • people – friendships, mentorships, romantic relationships, and family
      • professional – career/entrepreneurship
      • prosperity – short/long term goals for money and value you want to create
      • play – traveling and things (houses/cars/etc)
      • philanthropic – giving back time, money, or energy
    • set timer for each category, and come up with as many things as you can for each category for 3-4 minutes
      • figure out top goals from each category
      • make a list of all of those goals
      • create strategies for each of those goals and a list of things he needs to do each day to achieve them
    • difference of result based goals vs. processed based goals
      • used to write down the result he wanted, but he has switched to process based goals
      • what kind of person do I need to be to get the results I want
    • The Way of the Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millman
      • collegiate athlete at Stanford that had everything he could want, but he woke every night with nightmares
      • left and found mentor at gas station named Socrates
      • one story tells of them climbing up mountain, and being excited, wondering what would be at the end
        • when they get to that point, Socrates tells him they came for a rock
        • Dan is incredulous as to why they climbed all that way for a rock
        • Socrates points out the fact that Dan was so excited on the way up, and the hypocrisy of being disappointed just because it wasn’t what he expected
        • shows the journey is much more important than the destination

“A lot of people look at, it’s bad to want more money, it’s bad to want a lot of nice things, and I disagree. I think that if you want more money, or if you want more things, because you think that’s going to make you happier, it never works out that way. You do not become more happier the more that you have.”

“Rather than just getting focused on having that, and why don’t I have that yet… I focus all of my energy on where if I do these things every single day, it’s going to be impossible for me not to have the result that I would love to have. And a lot of people get to focused on the result and less focused on the process, which I think is much more important.”

“The journey is so much more important than the destination. It’s not the result that you get to, but the journey and that path and who you become in the process ,of getting to where you want to go.”

  • morning routine
    • biggest thing that changed his life
    • up until recently, he got up as late as he could just to race out the door and get to where he needed to be
    • mentor asked him what his morning routine was and he was embarrassed to answer
      • mentor told him not many successful people get up after 5:30, if you want to be successful, that’s what you have to do
      • there was no judgement or public shaming, it was just a statement
    • morning routine has evolved
    • he writes it down so he doesn’t have to think about it
    • get up by 5:45 and takes an ice cold shower – shocks your system
    • drinks water, meditates for at least 10-15 min, and practices gratitude
    • drinks coffee and listens to podcasts
    • goes through list of things he needs to do (6-8 highest priority things)
    • reads article/blog/book and then 5-10 min of exercise while also listening to podcast/audiobook
    • 1.5-2hrs to complete
  • books, podcasts, resources
    • before coming onto podcast, he thought about creativity
    • thinks vulnerability is synonymous with creativity
    • professional writer told him the more vulnerable you become, the better your writing is
    • The Gift of Imperfection by Brené Brown and her TED Talk on vulnerability
    • Left to Tell by Immaculee Ilibagiza
      • survivor of Rwandan Holocaust
      • watched her family die, and lived in small space for 3 months with 6/7 other people
      • when they were released, she didn’t have hatred towards those who committed the crimes
      • reading her story made Matt realize “who am I not to share my vulnerability with others”
    • The Heart and the Fist by Eric Greitens, also wrote Resilience
    • Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankel
    • The Places that Scare You by Pema Chodron
    • How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie
    • likes to read these books when he has fears, it helps to inspire him to be more and share more with the world

“What I try to do if I want to create more creativity, I know that I need to be more vulnerable, and so I love reading stories and books about people who have demonstrated a level of courage and vulnerability greater than I’ve ever had to experience in my life.”

  • creative people
    • Tony Robbins – what he has been able to do and share takes an extraordinary amount of creativity
    • Gary Vaynerchuk – social media, Crush It, and video on Hustle
      • from wine store to media empire
    • Tim Ferriss, Richard Branson
    • grandfather who grew up during Holocaust
      • came to US as teenager with nothing
      • built multiple businesses and never gave up
      • didn’t care about result, just the process
      • woke up early on the weekends to sell power tools at the flea market
      • didn’t let things get him down or give up
      • tries to model himself after his grandfather
    • having an awareness of people around us and the impact they have
    • we can learn something from everybody from family to patients
    • you should never think you have it all figured out

“I think the moment that we get to a point where we realize that we have it all figured out, or that we don’t have anything to learn from everybody that’s around us, is when our life really starts to slide backwards. I think it’s always important to stay humble and to realize that everybody in our life we have the opportunity to grow from and has gifts that we can learn from along the way.”

  • definition of creativity
    • creativity is vulnerability
    • sit down and write fears, hopes, dreams and keep writing

“Brené Brown… said ‘Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity, and change.’ and think that in order to be creative, you have to be really in touch with who you are and what you want, and in order to do that, you have to become very very vulnerable. And I think the biggest biggest way that you can become more vulnerable is through writing.”

“Just writing whatever comes to mind… the more that you do that, you tend to unlock the things that are holding you back and the things that are important to you. And you really start to… realize what’s important to you, and the more you can get in touch with your core essence, the more you can allow that to be expressed and share that with the world. But it comes down to, number one, just being vulnerable and putting yourself out there.” | Facebook | Email

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