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Ginger Kern on Engaging Your Playfulness, Helping Others and Ourselves, and Travel as a Rite of Passage – Cracking Creativity Episode 57

Ginger Kern knew she wanted to leave her childhood home in the Midwest even when she was a young. She grew up reading books on adventure and mythology, which fueled her desire to get away.

So, when she had the opportunity to visit her family in Germany, she jumped on it. Even though she didn’t speak German and her family didn’t speak English, she was hooked on travel and living abroad. This was the beginning of her life fueled by travel, adventure, and a desire to help other people do the same.

In this episode, Ginger talks about embracing your playful side, taking rites of passage, and transforming herself and others.

Here are three things you can learn from Ginger:

Engage in Playfulness

Once we become adults, most of use lose our sense of playfulness. While this may be good in some situations, it absolutely prevents us from being our most creative selves.

Being playful allows us to experiment without worrying about ridicule. It allows us to be curious as we explore the world. That’s why Ginger likes to put herself in playful environments. “It is a question of how can I surround myself with the external environment that pulls from me to be playful, to be creative, to be in a space of wonderment and curiosity and experimentation. ”

She also believes we need to intentionally set aside time to be playful. “It’s the structure of ‘Okay, I’m going to actually to block out a chunk of time in my week or in my day that is for whatever comes out of my creative forays.’ It could just be two hours and you don’t have a set plan for those hours but you do something.”

When we set aside that time, we can’t judge ourselves so much. we just have to see what comes out. “And just letting it come out and allowing it to just be what it is, and not judging it until maybe later… but during the process, just let it come out.”

This minor shift in playfulness can have a massive impact on our creativity. Creativity requires an open mind, exploration, and curiosity, and play makes those things possible.

We Must Help Ourselves in Order to Help Others

Ginger deals a lot with transformation. She has helped people overcome their doubts and has helped push them past their comfort zones. One example she gave was helping a woman who was feeling stuck creatively. Before her call with Ginger, the woman wasn’t drawing at all. But within 48 hours, she was able to reconnect with her creative expression.

But one thing Ginger emphasized was, she wouldn’t be able to be a source of strength for others if she wasn’t a source of strength for herself first. “I can only take my clients as big as I have gone myself… but really being a powerful stand for someone, that is sometimes tricky if you’re not being a stand for yourself… because it’s hypocritical. And so, helping others, if you want to use the word help… my goal is to really be a powerful stand for their power… in order to be able to do that, I have to be able to do that for myself.”

One thing Ginger noticed about her clients is, they are so eager to jump to the next level, but you can’t rush the process. “It’s always a process, right. So, there’s always expansion. There’s always that next level. And I think where some entrepreneurs might get caught up, is trying to force that next level… and what I found at least is that there’s so much to be learned just through the process of that.”

That’s why, before she can help others reach the next level, she has to reach the next level herself, and the only way she could do that was by getting support herself. “In order to effectively help, or effectively support, or effectively coach any of those things, I also have to have people pulling for me and so that does really bring me into that next level.”

Travel Can Act as a Rite of Passage

One interesting observation Ginger has made about the world is, we no longer go through rites of passage. Before modern civilization took it’s hold on the world, previous generations had traditions that were passed down the line. People had to go through symbolic journeys, or rites of passage, in order to transition from one part of life to the next.

The concepts behind these stories and journeys all come up in Joseph Campbell’s The Hero with a Thousand Faces. The archetypes found in the book spanned across all cultures and helped convey different messages and morals.

Ginger is now using travel as a rite of passage to help people deal with their own versions of these journeys from isolation to discomfort. “The rite of passage is a real tool and the way that I see it being a really effective tool… is going into a slightly scary situation of travel, where everything is unknown. You have to figure stuff out on the go. You have to deal with feelings of isolation, aloneness, uncomfortableness, discomfort… It’s such incredible work to see how someone can transform so thoroughly through travel.”

And when people come back from their trips, their hero’s journey, many come away completely transformed. “It’s beautiful, and inevitably, they come out on the other side and they’re so thrilled. They’re psyched about life because they see that they can handle it and they can take on a new challenge. They might even start seeking out new challenges and being more epic in their everyday life. That mentality, once you have it, it doesn’t leave you. It doesn’t just disappear.”

Shownotes

  • about Ginger
    • grew up in Midwest
    • had a desire to leave early on
    • grew up reading a lot of books
    • wasn’t allowed to watch TV and didn’t have video games
    • was interested in mythology/adventure books
    • Ginger’s TEDx Talk
    • had the opportunity to visit extended family in Germany
    • flew there alone and stayed a month with a family that didn’t speak much English
    • she got hooked on travel
    • studied German, Italian, and French in college
    • went back to Europe in college
    • got Fulbright English Teach Assistantship Grant
      • taught 20 hours/week, which allowed her to explore and travel
      • Couchsurfing for travel
      • worked in Frankfurt for 2 years
    • learned certain things that aligned with who she was and things that didn’t
    • living alone and figuring stuff out

12:00 “For a lot of people, that word someday is super sneaky and tricky because it means you keep putting it off and putting it off.”

  • dark spots
    • the strain of living in a different culture long term
    • Much of Frankfurt’s city culture centers around trade and investment banking
      • couldn’t build a community with common values there
      • felt isolated and alone
      • Global Shapers – initiative of World Economic Forum  – social entrepreneurship
    • relationship with boyfriend – there was a non-compatibility
      • didn’t have a way to deal a breakup in a healthy way
    • darkest recorded winter in fifty years

18:13 If you choose to be a person who leaves your home country, and goes to another place to live for an extended amount of time, yes it’s going to be awesome. So I’m a huge advocate for it, and I would share that and just have people know that there will be dark spots… but you will survive.”

  • traveling
    • has home base in Boulder
    • when she came back to US, she was worried about getting stuck in routine again
    • staying in mindset of a traveler
    • emotional and complete return to Frankfurt
    • travels with a purpose
    • looks for experience she wants, who she knows where she’s traveling, any organizations she can contact, ect.
  • learning languages
    • learning structures, recognizing patterns/root words
    • uses BaseLang – $99/month for unlimited Spanish tutoring
      • difference between talking to native speakers  and learning from a textbook
  • intentionality of traveling
    • sights, activities
    • Nepal – parahawking, Argentine tango
    • Rites of Passage
      • designing trips at the edge of your reach zone but not in your panic zone
      • UK – reach, China – panic
      • How much do you want to challenge yourself and how do you want to challenge yourself?
      • handling different situations and testing your confidence
      • using travel as a tool for transformation
  • how she figured out how to help people
    • her own experiences and recognizing patterns
    • basic human desires are the same
    • self-study, training, and self-development as well
    • going through coaching training, and getting coached herself for three years
    • having mentors that pull for your biggest self
      • learning from the experience of others and passing it along

31:40 “The basic human desires remain the same. We all want to feel loved and appreciated. We want to feel connected, and when we don’t have those needs met, then there’s a disconnect. We feel like we’re not purposeful, or we’re not held or received. Maybe we’re not as self-expressed as we could be. And so, seeing those patterns come up time and time again.”

  • expectations after college
    • wanted to live in Europe for 5 years, lived there for 3
    • thought she was going to do something in communications
    • sought community online because she didn’t find it in real life
    • read a lot about personal development so she could cope with things
    • TheFeelGoodLifestyle.com
      • started writing articles and seeing comments uplifted her
      • saw what worked and what didn’t, did a lot of experimentation
      • ended up working with the founder
      • started off trying it out, and committed to it later
      • Landmark Education
    • fear of being fully seen
      • hearing the voice that’s telling you can’t
      • feeling the physical hesitation and dealing with it

“By in large, if you put in your effort, you’re going to get out amazing, amazing things for your life. So, for me, it’s just brought so much self-expression and love into my life.”

“The process that I go through is hearing the voice, and literally saying ‘Thank you for sharing’ and setting it aside, and taking the action anyway. So, it doesn’t mean that I don’t experience that physical hesitation… but I can be with it and not resist it and then move through it or let it dissolve on its own. Cause, you know it’s not real… you have the choice to listen to it and follow it, or set it aside and take the action anyway.

  • experimentation
    • taking the smallest action toward your goal
    • innovation from nothing
    • feeling bad/wrong when our visions don’t pan out

“As far as what my own definition of creativity is.. All it [creativity] is is causing something to exist in the world that, in my opinion, previously didn’t, and it’s coming out of your own self-expression. So, whatever that is, it’s inherently good because it’s you expressing yourself. That’s beautiful. And so, it doesn’t have to look exactly like you might think it would be, but it will lead somewhere. And I think the fun part is, if we can really dig in to our playful self, and just let that playfulness come out… just go for it… It’s so much more fun to be childlike wonderment playful self then it is to be adulty analytical I have to do things a certain way self. Which one is more fun? For me the choice is super obvious.”

  • engaging in our playful/creative side
    • it’s all about who you surround yourself with
    • Velcro and Silly Putty as examples of experiments intended for a different purpose
    • Silly Putty’s origin as a rubber substitute
    • living in a place with Silly Putty and colored pencils
    • travel as a good way to be creative
    • The Art of Travel by Alain De Botton
      • traveling in Amsterdam airport and the signs sparked him to think about the subtle differences
      • sparked different ideas and they started happening
    • why artists travel to different areas for creative inspiration

42:30.4 “Cause, if you surround yourself with people who are lighthearted and playful naturally, or if you have activities in your life that are already childlike or just freeing… that’s a really great way to tap into it, especially if there’s a community around it.”

43:06 “It is a question of how can I surround myself with the external environment that pulls from me to be playful, to be creative, to be in a space of wonderment and curiosity and experimentation. And also, it’s the structure of ‘Okay, I’m going  to actually to block out a chunk of time in my week or in my day that is for whatever comes out of my creative forays.’ It could just be two hours and you don’t have a set plan for those hours but you do something. And just letting it come out and allowing it to just be what it is, and not judging it until maybe later… but during the process, just let it come out.”

45:26 “If you’re surrounded by newness, if you’re surrounded by stuff that is foreign to you, and has some sort of similarity, your brain is going to automatically going to start making the connections between those foreign objects and try to assimilate it into that which you already know. So, by putting yourself into a new scenario, you’re going to start making new connections mentally between things.”

47:20.5 “It’s just this little bit of newness but it causes this massive ripple effect shift of how you play with and interact with and view the environment around you, and then your inner environment changes as well.”

  • most transformative experience she’s had
    • 3+ years she experienced as a traveler
    • trying and failing many times, but also succeeding too
    • knowing she can trust herself and handle tough things that come her way
  • helping woman with a transformative experience
    • has massive creative block
    • is an artist and designer
    • reach zone is taking a trip to California for 3 weeks solo
      • getting to place where she can figure it out and maximize her time there
      • becoming a powerfully self-expressed woman and making the most of it
    • before speaking to Ginger, she wasn’t drawing at all, after a call together, she reconnected with her creative expression
  • how helping transform others has transformed herself
    • working with coaches herself
    • think to yourself, What would it really mean if I weren’t enough

53:17 “I can only take my clients as big as I have gone myself… but really being a powerful stand for someone, that is sometimes tricky if you’re not being a stand for yourself… because it’s hypocritical. And so, helping others, if you want to use the word help… my goal is to really be a powerful stand for their power… in order to be able to do that, I have to be able to do that for myself.”

54:03 “It’s always a process, right. So, there’s always expansion. There’s always that next level. And I think where some entrepreneurs might get caught up, is trying to force that next level. ‘Oh, I have to rush to it’ or make it happen, otherwise I’m not good enough yet… and what I found at least is that there’s so much to be learned just through the process of that. and even having those thoughts and feelings come up and just sitting with them,.. The point is that, yes, helping others does help me. It’s very fulfilling obviously as well, but in order to effectively help, or effectively support, or effectively coach any of those things, I also have to have people pulling for me and so that does really bring me into that next level.”

  • getting her first client and what has changed since
    • first client was a practice client
    • was a free coaching agreement through website she was writing for
    • first paid client required increasing her confidence in being able to transform others
    • had phone conversations to see if it was a good fit
      • what do they want

57:05 “The internet is a beautiful place, right? You can meet and totally connect with people in a really deep way if you know how to invite someone into a powerful conversation.”

  • shift in how her coaching has changed
    • before she was heavily focused on a wide funnel
      • found it wasn’t natural or working for her
      • felt surface level and less powerful
    • chose to switch from wide funnel to making offers and inviting people she had connection with into a conversation
      • if they were up for it, she would dig a bit deeper with them
      • more about relationship and simplifying it
    • what works for some people might not work for you
    • going deeper with fewer people than going less deep with more people
  • Rites of Passage
    • not many examples of modern rites of passage
    • The Hero with a Thousand Faces by Joseph Campbell
      • archetypes that span across cultures
      • challenges along the way
      • separation from everything you know, go out on your own (initiation), after overcoming challenges there’s a return
      • bringing back discovery from rite of passage to community
    • there isn’t a coming of age story for most people
    • there’s no transformational experiences for most people
    • uses travel adventures, trips, experiences as a rite of passage
    • becoming a new person through travel experience

1:04:21 “The rite of passage is a real tool and the way that I see it being a really effective tool… is going into a slightly scary situation of travel, where everything is unknown. You have to figure stuff out on the go. You have to deal with feelings of isolation, aloneness,  uncomfortableness, discomfort. So, that’s really what I mean when I say a rite of passage and it’s such incredible work to see how someone can transform so thoroughly through travel. It’s beautiful, and inevitably, they come out on the other side and they’re so thrilled. They’re psyched about life because they see that they can handle it and they can take on a new challenge. They might even start seeking out new challenges and being more epic in their everyday life. That mentality, once you have it, it doesn’t leave you. It doesn’t just disappear. It totally stays, so that’s really exciting.”

  • biggest difference between before and after rite of passage
    • client was a already a digital nomad/traveler
    • he wasn’t afraid of being alone/traveling
    • his challenge was creating a community and settling down
    • he had the challenge of going deep in one place
    • chose to stay and build community in Barcelona with people who aligned with his values
    • became CTO of travel startup, they liked him so much that they were willing to move to him
    • full spectrum of way of being so you aren’t pigeonholed into one slice of existence
  • interesting/unexpected experience while traveling
    • went to Belgium and two cities:  Bruges and Ghent
    • thought she would like Bruges but it was too touristy
    • in Ghent she stayed with a Couchsuring host
      • nighttime in winter
      • had a canoe by his artist loft
      • when she arrived, he asked if she wanted to canoe in canal
      • went on canoe trip with clear waters and starry sky
      • experienced beautiful Belgium cityscapes from the water
      • being open led to beautiful experience
  • recommendation for people who want new experiences
    • define what options for it could be
    • there’s not just one right place to start
    • take a look at what’s achievable but within your comfort zone
    • then go out and do things that are more uncomfortable
  • future of her work
    • transformative travel businesses
    • not just beach and margaritas
    • emphasis on travel with purpose and transformation
    • Muddy Shoe Adventures – multi-day adventure trips where guides have PhD’s
    • coaching for women who want Eat. Pray. Love. experience
  • favorite quote
    • adventure centric and open-ended for what worthwhile means

“Adventure is worthwhile in itself.” – Amelia Earhart

1:17:29 “If you follow something that both scares and excites you and you take that on or do that, it’s going to be worthwhile in some way or another.”

  • stories or books that inspired passion for travel
  • morning routine
  • podcasts, documentaries, tools, resources
    • book that helped her through darker times: The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck
      • dealing with moments of sadness
    • Unraveling the Year Ahead from Susannah Conway
      • what you accomplished last year, areas of life that aren’t working, what to let go of, etc.
      • creating year ahead of you, map out what you will do in next 12 months
  • creative people
    • Amy Segreti – helps people in life, creativity, health, etc.
      • Argument Diffuser Box
        • used to diffuse arguments in relationships
        • box full of rolled up parchment tied with string
        • reach in the box, unroll it, and do what it says
        • Examples: Hug person for 30 seconds, no talking, full on, Become an animal and make noises of animal
    • Imogen Heap – singer/songwriter – creates songs at nexus of music, tech, visual arts, etc
  • being more creative
    • tap into playfulness

1:28:23 “Think about it. When you’re a kid, you don’t have to force yourself to be creative. You just make stuff up, and it doesn’t matter. Being in that playful spirit of whatever happens happens, follow where I feel like, and that’s really the essence of that creativity… letting that lightheartedness, that expression, and that flow come through, just as if you were a kid again and you’re just doodling in your notebook because why not? No one told you to. It wasn’t a means to and end. You were just doing it.”

  • challenge
    • the next person you come across, take the time to connect with them and ask a meaningful question
    • if you do it enough it becomes easy and less scary
    • connect with someone and see what happens
    • take the time, look the person in the eye, and ask “How are you?”
      • acknowledge and recognize person, and ask them with meaning
    • What’s your fondest memory? If you had no worries about money, what would you be doing?

GingerKern.com  |  Travelersmindset.com

Ginger also provided this awesome resource:

Fund Your International Work & Travel: A $7 Guide To Over $100K In Jobs, Grants, & Fellowships Abroad

 

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